question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Randomize
