he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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