My sheets look like a crime scene.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
