Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
