You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I could fuck to npr.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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