You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Randomize
