He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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