i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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