Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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