I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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