I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Randomize
