Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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