I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
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