Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
