i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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