I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
