In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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