the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Randomize
