I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
