Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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