to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
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