what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
