Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
