Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Randomize
