dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
