So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
