I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
