woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Randomize
