Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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