Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
