so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
