Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Let's get the cat blown out
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
