I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
We left an ass print on the piano.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
