How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
