My brain says no but my pants say off.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
