i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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