Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
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