question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
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