Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
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