Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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