I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Randomize
