Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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