people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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