I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
