i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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