WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
