You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
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