A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
