I want to stick my p in your. b.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Randomize
