you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
