I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
