I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Randomize
