I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
